Booze, Baseball, and another "B"

Sunday, October 23, 2005


In a year where horrible movies are being released left-and-right, when a movie comes out and stands above the crowd, it becomes pretty noticeable. When it stands out for being WORSE than most of the other stuff coming out, you don't want anything to do with it.

Doom is a movie like that. Starring The Rock, the movie should at least have been fun. Being directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak, you'd expect it to be a poor film, but maybe a fun movie (he's directed Romeo Must Die, Exit Wounds, and Cradle 2 the Grave, none of them fine films, but all of them are fun). Doom came up short pretty much in every category.

First of all, The Rock was not enjoyable. I've always liked The Rock as an actor, and in Doom he sucks. Karl Urban sucked, Rosamund Pike sucked, all of the actors sucked.

Next, Richard Brake, the guy who killed Bruce Wayne's parents in Batman Begins (a fine film, so good it's surprising the film came out this year), for a good portion of the film has more lines than anyone else! And his performance is terrible.

The camera work was nothing special, which is a big disappointment, being that Bartkowiak got his start as a director by being a well-regarded DP.

Of course, the writing in the film is awful. Not just the dialogue, but the pseudo-science crap they threw in too. All of it, bad.

So you're probably wondering, "at least the effects were good, right?" You would think they should be; Stan Winston did the creature effects. The creatures aren't bad, but they aren't really notable either. The one shown in trailers which is showcased during the brief "FPS" segment of the film looks good, but other than that, they're just ok. The effects for the BFG were not bad, but there wasn't much of them either. Other than that, the effects sucked. Most of the movie takes place in extremely dark locations, so you can't see much of anything.

Take all of those elements, add in plot inconsistencies, and possibly the dumbest plot twist in the last 5 years, and what do you get? A worthless film? Well, yes; but you also get Doom.

The movie gave me a headache it was so bad. Seriously.


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