Booze, Baseball, and another "B"

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

McLaren SLR beats Ferrari Enzo in race....

That's right, we now which is the better supercar. Or do we?

As it turns out, the Ferrari pulled a DNF (did not finish, for those of you not down with the lingo). The Ferrari Enzo, driven by from Gizmondo exec Stefan Eriksson (the embattled exec who is accused of having mafia ties) crashed into a power poll while racing against a McLaren SLR. According to Eriksson, the car was not driven by him, it was in fact driven by a German named "Dietrich;" someone he only knew on a first name basis. I'm not making that up. Helicopter searches found no trace of "the German," who apparently fled on foot, after crashing into a poll while going 120 MPH, after 3 hours of searching.

The Enzo was cut in half, behind the seats (taking out the engine compartment). According to the sheriff on the scene, Sgt. Phillip Brooks:
"[Eriksson] had a bloody lip, and only the air bag on the driver's side had blood on it. The passenger-side air bag did not. My Scooby-Doo detectives are looking closely into that."

Obviously Mr. Eriksson isn't familiar with Emergency Services, and I wouldn't suspect everyone out there reading this blog to be either, so I'll fill you in a little (who knows, maybe Stefan will read this, and the next time he crashes a beautiful supercar and tries to concoct a story about someone else driving, he'll know better what to say).

When you have a car going as fast as 120 MPH (doesn't even have to be going that fast, you can be doing half that) and it crashes, whatever is inside the vehicle is put through massive g-forces. In the emergency services, this is what we call "mechanism of injury," or "mechanism" for short. Upon finding out that the mechanism was a 120 MPH crash, an MVA ("Motor Vehicle Accident") call such as this would immediately be upgraded from BLS (Basic Life Support) to ALS (Advanced Life Support), assuming it wasn't toned as an ALS in the first place. The reason is because when you crash at that kind of speed, you're lucky to come out alive when you're driving a road-going car (I've seen people who died going much slower than that). So if there was someone who was driving, he'd have to be a cyborg to be able to get out of the car, and run off into the hills. It is possible to slide over into the passenger seat, but not a whole lot more than that.

When you take that knowledge, add it to the notion of giving someone you only know on a first name basis the keys to your $1 million dollar sports car, you come up with "bullshit!!" Here it is in formula form, for the mathematically inclined.

  • A (mechanism) + B (unbelievable story) = C ("bullshit!!"). Emergency Services responders have to deal with this stuff all the time.
Of course, the real losers here are Ferrari fans. Of the 399 original Enzos, there is now one less (and others have crashed in the past). I don't know how Eriksson got his Enzo, as you have to be chosen by Ferrari to be able to buy one new (and who would sell theirs?!), which we all know from watching Top Gear. Why he would be selected is beyond me.

Here's an image that should make any Ferrari or supercar fan cry:

More pics can be found here.

And for those who watch Top Gear, we also know that the Enzo was almost 2 seconds quicker around the track than the SLR.

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